my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
