You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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