He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize