Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
