Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
MIDGETS
????
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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