i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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