SEEEEXXX PLEASE
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
