I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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