I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize