Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
