I'm so fucking centered right now
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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