Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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