Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
