hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
FUCK WHALES
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