If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
