Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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