What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
