So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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