Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
