u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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