I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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