I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Randomize
