It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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