if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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