OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
