If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
last night I used snow as a chaser
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