I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
