I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
