So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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