Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
