he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize