We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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