All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Also, beer. Big fan.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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