Taylor Swift is so right about you.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
