btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
