as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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