Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize