We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
