I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
