i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
