weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
