He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
