apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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