Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
We were destined to go to rehab together
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
