you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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