Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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