I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
