yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
