Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
No more Irish car bombs ever.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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