You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
