he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
