Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
