All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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