Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Randomize
