I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
