Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize