look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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