dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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