Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize