we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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