Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
My bed smells like the plague
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
