We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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