I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
