The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
