i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
