drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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