oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Floor bacon is actually really good
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
