He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Enjoy the penises
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
