Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
