Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize