You're so nebulous sometimes
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
