Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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